Neo-Grammaticism
About a week ago, I had a somewhat humorous e-mail discussion with a colleague regarding the use of punctuation and to some extent, the use of grammar in general. Rather than try to summarize the discussion, I simply include it here as it occurred, with only minor amounts of editing. While the connection between this topic and technology may appear rather obscure at first, it should become more obvious as you read through the discussion. (Note: This discussion began as a result of my submission of a proposal to my colleague for review.)
Colleague: Next project: train John to avoid using two spaces after a punctuation mark.
John: This single space business after a period sounds far too much like neo-grammaticism, which I'm sure is a not too distant cousin to neo-evangelicalism, which I know does not align with our institution's position. If my memory serves me correctly, it has always been the rule that two spaces should follow a period, until not too long ago. In fact, I'm sure that I have been docked points on one or two term papers for not having two spaces. I suspect the reason why these English people have to change the rules so often stems from their inability to bring excitement into their field any other way (notice my stubborn attempt to refuse compromise through my continued use of two spaces). I think the only thing that's going to get me to change that habit is through some sort of electro-shock therapy (don't get any ideas!).
Colleague: Most people don't voluntarily request shock therapy, but... I refer you to the title of a book I requested: The PC is Not a Typewriter. Apply principle liberally.
John: You know, that whole argument about typewriter vs. PC just doesn't hold water with me. Based on what I was taught in grammar school (and it was a Pensacola grad who taught me this, so I know it has to be true), the two spaces were there so it was easier for the reader to distinguish between start and end of sentences. If that's the case, what difference does it make which "technology" you use?
Okay, I confess... I hate change. I know, that sounds ludicrous, given my "stature" as a guru of technological change, but it's true. I think the reason I hate change has to do with the fact that no one remembers what it was like prior to the change. Then you have these revisionist historians who want to rewrite the past so that the change never occurred. That really scares me. Why can't we just forget the change and live happy and peacable lives? Could it be that these change agents are constantly working toward a one-world grammar? I mean, think about it... consistency in punctuation? That in itself should scare the Wallies out of you. :-)
End of Conversation
Disclaimer: My apologies to Pensacola graduates who were forced to just now endure my sarcasm. No personal offense was intended.
Colleague: Next project: train John to avoid using two spaces after a punctuation mark.
John: This single space business after a period sounds far too much like neo-grammaticism, which I'm sure is a not too distant cousin to neo-evangelicalism, which I know does not align with our institution's position. If my memory serves me correctly, it has always been the rule that two spaces should follow a period, until not too long ago. In fact, I'm sure that I have been docked points on one or two term papers for not having two spaces. I suspect the reason why these English people have to change the rules so often stems from their inability to bring excitement into their field any other way (notice my stubborn attempt to refuse compromise through my continued use of two spaces). I think the only thing that's going to get me to change that habit is through some sort of electro-shock therapy (don't get any ideas!).
Colleague: Most people don't voluntarily request shock therapy, but... I refer you to the title of a book I requested: The PC is Not a Typewriter. Apply principle liberally.
John: You know, that whole argument about typewriter vs. PC just doesn't hold water with me. Based on what I was taught in grammar school (and it was a Pensacola grad who taught me this, so I know it has to be true), the two spaces were there so it was easier for the reader to distinguish between start and end of sentences. If that's the case, what difference does it make which "technology" you use?
Okay, I confess... I hate change. I know, that sounds ludicrous, given my "stature" as a guru of technological change, but it's true. I think the reason I hate change has to do with the fact that no one remembers what it was like prior to the change. Then you have these revisionist historians who want to rewrite the past so that the change never occurred. That really scares me. Why can't we just forget the change and live happy and peacable lives? Could it be that these change agents are constantly working toward a one-world grammar? I mean, think about it... consistency in punctuation? That in itself should scare the Wallies out of you. :-)
End of Conversation
Disclaimer: My apologies to Pensacola graduates who were forced to just now endure my sarcasm. No personal offense was intended.
posted by John at
10:47 AM
3 Comments:
So this is what you do at work all day?? Are you serious though? There is now only supposed to be one space after the period? When in the universe did that happen?!! Maybe if I stick to several question marks and exclamation points at the end of my sentences I won't have to worry about it! ha!
By
Shanti, at 3:45 PM
Finally, someone who shares my opinion that changing the number of spaces following punctuation is idiotic. I got into this argument with my wife when proofreading her resume. I hadn't even heard of it until then. Of course, being the nerd I am, I had to go look it up. Sure enough, it is now the accepted practice. I was taught to use two spaces and the change didn't come easy. (Yes, I realize I am now using only one space, but somehow I retrained my brain.)
Also, your paragraph regarding rewriting history and such. Sounds very Orwellian. Like it's something straight out of 1984.
-Tony
By
Tony, at 4:00 PM
Hey John! Sarah says--and I quote--"you have to turn off your character verification thingy. Blindos can't read it." Otherwise she'd love to comment on your blog and thinks it's great.
By
Shanti, at 8:47 PM
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